The Girls of "CHOICES"

The Girls of CHOICES – Family and Children's Services of Tulsa

Anahi Macias, Cilia Davila, Isamar Vences, Adriana Torres, & Rosly Carrasco

By: Courtney Stone

To an uninformed visitor, the Hispanic girls of CHOICES appear to be typical teenagers. They dress in jeans and fashionable shirts, they chatter excitedly with each other, and they complain of problems with parents and teachers. Beneath all this, however, are deeper socioeconomic and cultural issues that distinguish these girls from their peers, moreso than their black hair, dark eyes, and brown complexions. Being Hispanic means that these girls have unique challenges and increased family responsibilities.

Racial prejudice and language barriers create friction at school. The girls say that many people assume that they will make bad choices simply because they are Hispanic. Teachers sometimes assume that the girls are slow, and place them in special education classes, even though the girls are on par with their peers. Another problem is that the girls are not permitted to speak Spanish; they slip in and out of the language quite fluidly, and doing so lands them in the principal's office. Furthermore, the teachers sometimes will not permit the girls to attend CHOICES. All this contributes to the girls' negative attitudes.

"Mexicans have more family responsibility," says Rosly Carrasco. Therefore, life at home is also permeated with complex cultural issues. The other girls support her statement with anecdotes of coming home from school or work and tackling heaps of household duties or babysitting siblings and cousins. Grace Guerrero, the leader of CHOICES, explains that in Hispanic families, studying and participating in extracurricular activities are seen as wastes of time that take the girls away from family duties. Adriana Torres testifies that parents will get angry when you spend time for yourself away from home. Housework comes before schoolwork; family comes before everything else. When Grace mentions that the girls sometimes have to skip school and act as a translator for a family member, all the girls nod in agreement, showing that it is a fairly common experience. This is further complicated by the strict authoritarian parenting style of Hispanics and "machista" or male chauvinism – the notion that women are solely responsible for domestic duties, while the men do nothing of that nature. Isamar Vences quotes her father, in regards to ordinary tasks such as hanging up one's clothes, "That's why I have daughters."

All the girls have jobs to help support their families, in addition to attending school and keeping up family responsibilities at home. They have to earn their keep, as Grace says. Their parents work, often at two jobs, and family burdens fall squarely on the girls' shoulders. The girls are more mature, world-wise, and stressed than their non-Hispanic peers.

CHOICES -- Challenge, Hope, Opportunity, Insight, Changes, Empowerment, and Success -- assists these girls by teaching them valuable life skills and encouraging them to take positive action. Grace explains that this means not talking back or taking a negative attitude, but instead communicating positively, understanding the differences between requests and demands, and rising above discrimination. These lessons are applied to interactions with parents and teachers. The girls offer their own chorus of lessons, each of these followed by echoes of agreement from the others in the group. For Anahi, it's making better choices and staying in school. For Rosly, it's standing up for yourself. For Isamar, it's making something of yourself.

The program is also teaching the girls about the importance of education. All the girls had bad habits of skipping school prior to joining the group. Cilia Davila, for example, chuckles about how easy it is to gather up friends and skip school together. Today, because of CHOICES, she is retaking the classes that she missed, and even working toward college credit. Grace says that she marvels at Cilia's new attitude because it is such a dramatic change; Cilia used to be one of the worst truants in the group. The girls also had little hope of attending college, mainly because of academic and financial concerns. CHOICES helps the girls explore the possibility of higher education by encouraging them to stay in school. Grace emphasizes that the girls do not need to be geniuses to attend college. She also gives them hope by showing them scholarships aimed at Hispanics. Isamar sums it up quite beautifully when she declares that she "has more animos [inspiration] to go to college."

CHOICES has also become a haven where the girls can speak freely among themselves. At first, the group was just an excuse to get out of class; no one really wanted to be there, and shyness silenced the girls. Over time, the shyness gave way to open communication – sharing experiences and advice, asking questions, listening to each other, and supporting each other. As Anahi says, it is good to know that you are not the only one with these experiences, and you do not have to hold back. Furthermore, CHOICES is no longer merely an excuse to get out of class. The girls look forward to getting together and sharing what they have to say.

The positive impact of CHOICES goes beyond the girls themselves. Not only are they communicating better with their parents and teachers; they also hope to bring in troubled friends who would flourish in the group. Grace says that CHOICES also helps Family and Children's Services establish important connections with Hispanic families. This opens an avenue for the family to beneficial services such as ESL classes, childcare, and counseling referrals. She also communicates with the parents to help them understand the importance of supporting their daughters' academic efforts.

The Women's Foundation of Oklahoma has demonstrated its support for CHOICES through a grant. Grace says that these funds keep the program alive, even thriving, by covering expenses, right down to the cookies the girls munch on during group time. In the future, she hopes to expand the program to younger girls, and have older girls serve as mentors. She would also like to take the girls on recreational trips, to hold summer camps, and to follow the girls as they progress through high school and college. Grace says that she cannot thank the Women's Foundation enough. The funding serves as an acknowledgment of the importance of CHOICES as it guides Hispanic girls along paths to bright horizons.